Poinciana Declares Itself UFO Welcome Center, Offers Free Pizza & Swamp Tours to Aliens
- iSkyNews.com
- Apr 1
- 2 min read
Updated: Apr 6
Poinciana Declares Itself UFO Welcome Center, Offers Free Pizza & Swamp Tours to Aliens
April 1, 2025 — by iSkyNews.com Staff
Poinciana, FL — In a move that has both NASA and Little Caesars scratching their heads, the small town of Poinciana has officially declared itself an "Intergalactic UFO Welcome Center" effective immediately.
The decision was made during a late-night emergency town meeting reportedly inspired by "multiple recent sightings of suspicious glowing orbs, a weird humming sound behind Publix, and one guy’s dog barking at a cactus for 3 hours straight."
Town officials addressed a crowd outside City Hall wearing silver capes, aviator sunglasses, and what appeared to be repurposed salad bowls on their heads.
“We welcome all space travelers, extraterrestrial beings, and possibly time travelers — as long as they come in peace and don’t park their crafts in handicapped spots,” one official stated.
According to the official proclamation, aliens landing in Poinciana will receive the following welcome package:
A voucher for one free swamp tour (gators not guaranteed, but highly likely)
Unlimited Wi-Fi access to Earth’s memes and conspiracy theories
A lifetime supply of Little Caesars pizza (assuming they can digest gluten)
A commemorative “I Landed in Poinciana” T-shirt (sizes XS to Galactic)
Local businesses are already preparing for the cosmic guests. A gas station off Cypress Parkway is converting its car wash into a “UFO Decontamination Bay,” and a nearby nail salon is offering antenna polish for half price.
Not everyone is on board, however. One concerned resident voiced their frustration, stating,
“We already have traffic on Cypress… now we’re gonna have flying saucers too?!”
Meanwhile, Zaxby’s has announced it’s preparing a limited-edition “Zaxterrestrial Sauce” for first contact diplomacy. It’s rumored to taste like garlic, hope, and a hint of Saturn.
The Sheriff's Office has issued a statement reminding all residents that aluminum foil hats are not officially certified safety gear, but they are “adorable and mildly effective.”
Town leaders concluded the press conference by lighting a scented candle and looking to the stars.
“This is more than tourism,” one said. “This is unity. This is peace. This… is Poinciana.”
Disclaimer: This article is part of iSkyNews.com’s annual April Fools’ tradition. No aliens have landed (yet), but the pizza offer stands for any confirmed Martians. Happy April Fools’ Day!
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